The Fashion Directory Origin Story: Wardrobe Evolution & Rediscovering Your Style After Big Life Changes
I used to know who I was. Not just in a vague, philosophical sense, but in the tangible, ordinary ways - like the way I dressed. My wardrobe was a living, breathing thing, a carefully curated biography of me. Confident. Creative. Bold.
Then life happened. For me, that life change was motherhood - it arrived, not as a gentle nudge but as a storm, upending everything I thought I knew about myself. For you, it might be a career shift, personal growth, or even a global event that reshaped your world. Whatever the cause, one day you find yourself standing in front of your wardrobe, staring at clothes that feel like they belong to someone else.
I became a mother, but somewhere along the way, I stopped being me.
The quiet grief of a life that doesn’t fit anymore
I can still see it so clearly: me, standing in front of my wardrobe, staring at hangers filled with clothes that felt like artifacts from a different life. Dresses that once hugged my body in ways that made me feel unstoppable now hung awkwardly, the seams whispering that I didn’t belong in them anymore. Shoes that had carried me through big nights and bigger dreams now felt like relics of a role I no longer played.
Even the colours - once bold and unapologetic - seemed to mock me. Bright reds and electric blues against the pale exhaustion etched into my face felt jarring, like painting a rainbow over a storm cloud.
It wasn’t just the clothes that didn’t fit. It was me. The confident, ambitious woman who once cared about showing the world who she was through her style seemed distant, almost unreachable. I wasn’t sure if she could exist alongside this new version of myself - the too tired to brush her hair, uncertain version navigating a life in flux.
And so I retreated. Oversized hoodies and leggings became my armour, not because I loved them, but because they were unassuming and safe. They didn’t ask anything of me. Dressing like “myself” felt like pretending, and I didn’t have the energy to pretend.
The messy process of redefining
Rediscovering your identity after a significant change - whether it’s motherhood, some other monumental shift, or even simply the passing of time - is like wandering through the ruins of someone else’s life. I mourned the version of myself who could look in the mirror and recognise exactly who she was. Old photos would occasionally stop me in my tracks. That woman looked so sure of herself, so unshaken.
I wanted to be her again, but trying to wear her clothes, both literally and figuratively, was like forcing on a pair of jeans two sizes too small. It didn’t work - not physically, not emotionally.
The truth is, it wasn’t just my body that had changed. It was the way I moved through the world, the things I valued, the way fabrics felt against skin that now craved comfort and softness. Beyond these changes, though, was the deeper challenge of discovering who I was becoming.
I wasn’t the woman I used to be, but I hadn’t yet figured out who I was now. Every outfit became a question: Does this represent me? Who even is “me” now?
The uncertainty was exhausting, but buried within it was a glimmer of hope - a blank canvas waiting to be painted. Unsettling, yes. But also brimming with possibility.
Steps to rediscovering your style after life changes
Rediscovering your sense of style is more than just shopping for new clothes - it’s about reconnecting with yourself. Here’s how I began rebuilding my wardrobe and my confidence:
Acknowledge the transition
It’s okay to feel like your old self doesn’t fit anymore. Grieving that version of yourself is part of the process. Whether you’ve become a parent, shifted careers, or simply grown older, accept that change is natural.
Start small
You don’t need to overhaul your wardrobe overnight. Begin with one piece that excites you - a fabric that feels good, a colour that sparks joy, or a silhouette that feels fresh.Experiment without pressure
Think of this as a time to play. Try on styles you’ve never considered before. Every piece is a step toward discovering who you are now.Focus on comfort and confidence
After major life changes, comfort and ease can feel like a lifeline. Look for pieces that make you feel good - not just physically but emotionally. Confidence comes from clothing that feels like it belongs to you.Seek inspiration
If you’re unsure where to start, explore brands that align with your current needs and values. (The Fashion Directory was created to make this step easier - more on that below!)
Finding the fun in the chaos and why rediscovering your style is worth it
I’ve learned that rediscovery isn’t about reclaiming what you’ve lost. This process isn’t about “getting back to” anything. It’s about piecing together something new, and reclaiming your identity, not as it used to be, but as it is now. It can at times be overwhelming, and some days it feels impossible, but it’s also an opportunity to experiment, to play, to imagine yourself differently.
I’ve started to embrace clothes that feel freeing, colours that feel authentic, and fabrics that wrap me in comfort. Some days, the mirror still feels like an opponent. But even on those days, I remind myself to be gentle and honour the journey.
If you’re standing at the crossroads of who you were and who you’re becoming, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to mourn the person you used to be. It’s okay to feel untethered and unsure. It’s okay to take your time. But don’t stop exploring. Try new things, even if they don’t feel perfect right away. Take small steps toward a version of yourself you’ve yet to meet.
Because here’s the truth: you haven’t lost yourself. You’re still here, waiting to be rediscovered. And the person you’re growing into? They’re worth the effort.
How my journey sparked something bigger
Through my own experience of motherhood, I realised that this journey of self-reinvention isn’t unique to me. So many others find themselves lost in the process of change, unsure how to reconnect with their sense of self and feeling lost when it comes to their wardrobes. The question isn’t just, ‘What do I wear?’ It’s, ‘Who am I now?’
This realisation planted the seed for The Fashion Directory. I wanted to create a space that would help people rediscover their style, offering inspiration and connection during times of transition, and find the pieces that resonate with who they are now - not who they were, or who they’re supposed to be. A place where style becomes a tool for self-discovery, a way to experiment and express yourself during moments of transformation.
For me, building The Fashion Directory has been an extension of my personal journey. It’s about more than fashion; it’s about inspiring and empowering others to rediscover the joy in dressing for themselves, no matter where they are in life. My hope is that The Fashion Directory becomes a resource for anyone standing in front of their wardrobe, wondering where to (re)begin.
Moving forward: Style as self-discovery
Rediscovering and reclaiming your style isn’t about “bouncing back.” It’s about moving forward with curiosity, grace, and creativity - giving yourself the freedom to change, explore, and express who you are becoming.
To anyone feeling lost in their reflection: start small. Try one new piece. Explore brands that excite you. And don’t be afraid to be a little risqué.
Let me know in the comments: What’s been your biggest challenge in rediscovering your personal style?
With love,
Jade - Owner of The Fashion Directory
